I gave myself permission to be every bit of the woman I was destined to be, and here I am. --Treka L. House
Does anyone else feel like 2018 took you fast, as if you were on an electric skateboard, being drug through the months? Lol! I mean it was just January, and all of a sudden, I’m decorating my Christmas tree. I will have to say that this has been the most fulfilling year of my life. The way God has showed up and showed out for me, is like no other year before. And trust me, there has never been a prayer unanswered in my life, even if it didn’t happen the way I wanted it to. I feel like I’ve gotten my wings, crown and life all in one year. All of the fear and doubt that has dragged me down previously, was dismantled with blessing after blessing in a short span of months. I was reminded of my strength, and so many aspects of what makes me who I am was restored. Every prayer I prayed was answered, and every positive belief I had manifested. Things I questioned was confirmed. Desires I had spoken into my life were granted. The more I think about it, it’s like God was on a mission to flex his muscles with me and remind me of whose in power over my life. But also to remind me of who I always was, and who I’m destined to be. This was my season of revelation and evolution, and I wouldn’t change a thing. All I had to do was put forth some effort, and believe that HE and I together could conquer anything; and we did. I realized in a short period of time just how much I allowed uncertainty and anxiety to distract me from myself for so long. I had been granted access to everything that would lead me to greatness and God had laid the foundation for my future years before, but I had fallen into a routine of not nurturing my own value, and I ultimately fell into a place of stagnancy. I take full accountability for where I allowed myself to land and dock.
As I look over the years, I see that if you don’t voluntarily walk into your purpose, God will orchestrate scenarios that pushes you into your reason for being. He’ll give you signs, drop obvious hints and allow you certain experiences, and if you don’t get it the easy way, he’ll let you get it the painful way. When this happens, you’ll feel overwhelmed and defeated, but you’re not. He is trying to show you who you are, and if you allow darkness to overtake you, you’ll never get up. He’s begging you in this trying time to stand with him, and to lean on him. He’s asking you to be liable in how you got to where you are, and to trust that he’ll bring you out. We have not because we believe not, and that leads us to ask not. God will give you blessing after blessing to restore your faith, if you get out of your own way. Oftentimes, we let what is familiar hold us hostage, because we are afraid of what’s unseen. Those are chains my darling, and we give them the power to hinder us. Let go.
There are times in our lives when we have to be broken completely down, and rebuilt with new parts in order to run like new. I’m a living testimony to that. I have been fortunate and open enough to learn so many things about myself, both good and bad. I’ve been doing a lot of soul work to understand my brokenness, and to heal those areas of my life. I’m honest with myself daily, because I’m conscious of who I am and of what shaped certain aspects of my life. I’ve learned that running and hiding behind people, goals, ideals, things and accomplishments will never erase what needs to acknowledged and resolved. I’m now more intolerant of certain behaviors, and now I understand the importance of boundaries; because I finally value myself. If we do not set the standards for what we will and won’t accept, we will find ourselves drowning in unhealthy cycles. As a people, we have been groomed to think that there is strength in talking, because we need to prove a point, but we weren’t taught that there is weakness in it too. I understand the impact of silence now, and just how much power it holds. You can’t learn anything talking, and once your words spill off your tongue, you can’t retract it and it’s often damaging. I can’t express how much joy I feel, and how much peace dwells within me today. It’s like my spirit is playing catch up as I laugh more, do more and live more. Who I am at the core has resurfaced and my growth is apparent. I couldn’t be more thankful for every trial, and every push, because every bit of negativity was dispelled with positivity; because I blindly stepped out on faith.
As we venture into 2019, I want every person reading this to get out of their own way. Let go of people who try to plant seeds of doubt within you. Remove yourself from people who try to encourage you to stay stagnant, because of their fear to move forward. Stop entertaining people who entertain negativity, and try to put a positive spin on it for you to receive it. Be honest with yourself about yourself, as you will not grow in your own lies. Prioritize yourself, your goals and implement self-care for you. Listen to your intuition over others, as no one will know what you need more than you. Stop trying to prove that you are good to bad people, no one is perfect. Learn to be a person of positive action, as it sets the tone for respect. Know that the fear of failure prevents you from doing, which makes you a failure. Accept that what is for you, will always be for you, no matter what someone else has planned for you. Give yourself some grace, as you will always make mistakes and never be perfect. The problem in making the same mistakes more than once, is that the mistakes then becomes a conscious choice. Cherish everything and everyone in your life, because nothing and no one is guaranteed. Trust your own decisions, you are not weak. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Aim high and land hard in everything thing you pursue. Get your ego in check or it'll kill everything in your path. Lastly but definitely not least, own every inch of who you are, be accountable for the impressions and impacts you’ve had on people, don’t play the victim, be responsible for changing yourself for the better and be kind to everyone.
I am a flawed individual; however, there is no one person who I’ve been connected to, who hasn’t felt my magic in some form. That is the legacy I aim to leave behind. I’m now okay with not being able to satisfy everyone. I accept that I am not for everyone, and that everyone is not for me. I value God’s input more so now than ever. I let the reason be the reason. I now let go after the season is up. And I’m forever preparing for my lifetime. May each of you be blessed in whatever season you’re in. May this post encourage you to live at your fullest, unapologetically. May every twist and turn lead you to your happy place. Much love, and happy holidays!!!