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  • Writer's pictureTreka L. House

Get Out Of Your Own Way

When you have learned to really love yourself, the right people will fall in love with you, and the wrong ones will fall away from you. Either way, you win!

Sometimes it takes the things that we fear most to occur, to help us see that we can survive beyond that fear. It requires that nagging intuition to place your right foot in front of your left, to get you to where you were supposed to be. It sometimes takes the things that we prayed to never happen, that actually happens, to strengthen us beyond who we ever thought we'd be. It often takes periods of suffering to help us love ourselves in ways we didn't realize we needed. Life sometimes requires hell on the job or the loss of that job to push us to fulfill our dreams. It will occasionally take people that we never thought we could live without to disappoint us, to help us see exactly who we are in the most tragic moments. Nothing just happens. There is a purpose in everything. This purpose was predestined before our existence. Yes, there are aspects of our lives that we can't control, but that is much of which we do, that determines the course of our future.

We underestimate ourselves too often, by putting way too much stock into things that hold no value and/or into people who are fighting their own demons. We falsely believe that those things will validate us or that those people are somehow better human beings than we are, when in reality we might not know the complete person they are. Then when heartache hits us, we are left broken and overwhelmed. These people can be family members, friends, children, supervisors or lovers. It doesn't matter the place they hold in our lives, it's the impact that they have on our life that carry us from chapter to chapter. This sense of loss creates a pool of doubt and we began to drown in complacency and stagnancy. We take loss so personally that we can't see the power being bestowed upon us, by losing something that's "just okay," in order to gain something extraordinary, that we never thought we'd have. (<—That last statement is deep, reread it. Get out of your own way.) You begin to reflect over all that you've done and all that you've given up to accomplish success; all to be left feeling like you could've done more. We haven't realized that more is not always the answer. Sometimes you can give all that you are to a job, situation, person or whatever; and the circumstances still won't grow beyond where it is. Have you ever thought that it may be timing? It may be the wrong job for you. It may be the wrong person for you. You may be in the wrong place for you. I personally feel like growth comes from commitment, willingness, effort, honesty, consistency and destiny. We can't change anything or anyone but ourselves. Sometimes changing ourselves alone, changes everything else around us. When that happens, we know what the problem was. If nothing changes with our change, then the time may have come to move beyond where you are, to where you need to be.

We can't force anything to be that isn't meant to be. We can't grow in something that we are not honestly working to grow in. Life is about sacrifice, and sometimes we have to face our fears head on to see where we stand. We have to be open to the possibility that our life is limitless and anything is achievable, if our mind is open to it. We have to take ourselves out of the box. We have to shake off conditions and embrace that we are the conductor of our own symphony. We have to stop putting up facades to survive, they only prolong the inevitable. Plus people aware of authenticity, often see past them anyway. It is imperative that we learn who we are organically. Then we are granted the ability to block out the negative voices around us, that are trying to control how we see ourselves, because the people behind those voices can't see themselves beyond who they are. Even if that voice is inside your head, combat it with self-discovery and unconditional self-love. This will not always be easy, and insecurity will come. But when you remind yourself about yourself, that uncertainty will be temporary. When we know who we are, we can no longer be affected by who others want us to believe we are. Stop restricting where you can go and who you can be, because of fear. Remember every time you think you can't do something or be someone better, that thought is a sign that you can. Inspire yourself to move forward to the greatness that lies ahead, you're worth it.


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