• Treka L. House

Get Lost In Yourself

"Make room in your life for yourself. You're important too." --Treka L. House

Have you or a friend you know, ever dedicated your entire existence to a mate? I mean became so engrossed in being at their beck and call, that you knew their wants and needs better than your own? I'm talking about the type of commitment that left your soul replaced with his/hers?

So many of us have been there or maybe someone reading this, is there right now. Let's go back to when it began. It all started with you being more available for them, than you were for yourself, when you might have needed yourself more. You found yourself falling behind on your dream or other desires; because you were so consumed with helping your mate fulfill theirs and you dare not complain, in fear of being looked at as selfish or the potential of being rejected. You stopped hanging out with friends, not on account of your partner asking you to, you just felt so obligated to your relationship. If you wanted to do something and your partner didn't, you dropped what you wanted to do what they wanted; instead of doing what you wanted sometimes. While your selflessness is sweet and considerate, it's really selfish and inconsiderate to yourself. You may not have noticed that your mate was being smothered to death by your identity loss. Oh darling, you took becoming one too literally, you abandoned your unique self to become your mate. Your inner crisis was not only effecting you, but your partner too, since your need to over nurture caused them their individual need for freedom.

Everyone needs their own personal space to thrive and grow. It's important to stay in sync with self and cater to your own needs. Additionally, your partner needs that too. No one person is the same and though you may love your partner and may enjoy their company even more; personal enjoyment outside of the relationship is necessary. Identify your own hobbies, passions and desires and focus on them sometimes. It's vital that you find a healthy balance as you enjoy getting lost in yourself, just as much as you are with your partner. It allows both parties to feel that they still own their individuality as well as come together to appreciate the relationship. It's unhealthy to become too involved with anyone, while neglecting yourself. Neglecting yourself and always putting everyone before yourself leads to resentment, dissappointment and insecurities. Always remember yourself, you're important too.

#TrekaLHouse #dream #selflove #author #disappointment #breakingpoint #amazon #africanamericanauthor


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