"One thing I have noticed to be true is that you can be the most insecure person in the world, but if you exude confidence, you will intimidate the hell out of people." --T. L. House
Just know that no matter who you're dealing with or what they're dealing with, there's no justification for tearing yourself down for anyone. I'm sure you have your own issues. Hell, we all have issues, no matter how many people pretend that they don't. You can't very well be expected to be a robot and forget about your crap to be consumed with someone's mess all the time. You can't really be demanded to cut off what you have going on in your head or heart for the other person every single
time they feel you should. That isn't realistic or healthy. It's literally okay to be consumed in yourself sometimes, as it's okay to be available for others. You can't help someone else, if you haven't figured out how to help yourself. Society wants a heap of robots overpopulating the streets and you're deceived if you never succumb to your own drawbacks, since it's necessary. It's not always your fault how you're perceived. You're not going to always be viewed as your true self, seeing as people see what they want to see based on they're own life experiences. It's not your job to clean up the thoughts of someone else, especially if you don't understand it or can't find any validity to it. Despite the definition of sefishness, you should always be a priority to yourself. Your best support comes from within. We all have insecurities, whether it's admitted or believed. Even the prettiest, most handsome and successful individuals struggle with self-esteem issues from time to time, even our beloved idol Beyonce expressed that in her documentary, Life Is But A Dream. Be as confident as you can with what you have for yourself. Don't get caught up in taking responsibility for someone else's security. That's truly a personal pursuit. Pressure comes from how one feels about him or herself; in other words, you have no control over that. Don't feel compelled to bare your inner demons for the comforts of everyone else. Live your life the best way you know how for you and leave people in their own hands. Take this as a free life lesson and go live for you.