• Treka L. House

The Scandal of the Ride or Die Chick


“If you’re the girl that feels like she’s not pretty enough, fine enough and smart enough, you’re fooling yourself. Quite a few are admiring you from afar and you’ll always be a thought away, even years from now. Just make sure you feel the same about yourself.” —Treka L. House

Social media is extremely deceptive and manipulative to say the least. Ironically, many sites are convincing in their trends when it comes to making some individuals feel as if certain thoughts and actions are acceptable. I have found it hard to understand why a person who knows right from wrong, whether it was taught from childhood or just a normal understanding, still seems to follow fads. Just because something is socially acceptable, doesn't make it right or truly sufficient. I'm not saying that no one makes mistakes or that we'll always get it right, since we won't. What I'm saying is, it isn't just permissible because everyone else is doing something. Let me get to what I really want to speak on. I've noticed a long time ago that many women seek validation for various reasons and that's normal. But some of the approval we accept, isn't really acceptance at all. Let me break it down.

Everyone wants a ride or die. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's normally defined as someone who will ride with someone else through good or bad, no matter how much pain a situation will cause the actual rider. This is a common request amongst men particularly. I'm not a man basher, it's a fact. Check your timeline, you'll see. I read so many statuses of men only giving women praise, if she stuck it out with him through all of his infidelities, failures, incarceration stints, and whatever else that would normally cause a woman to run for the hills. However, if that woman decided that enough was enough and she was no longer willing to endure pain for the sake of being called the realist; she would be all sorts of unfavorable things. As people, we have a desire to be desired, so much so that we'll deal with the undesireable, just to get that little bit of something for reception. When will enough be enough is the question that we should ask? When will women stand up with their standards in tow and decline whatever they can get for what they really want? When will women accept that every male that they have a strong like for, will not always be ordained to be their life mate? When will women decide for themselves that they want more, contrary to what everyone else feels that is for them? When will they realize that they deserve more? When will women look in the mirror and see that the whole ride or die lifestyle is a sham and there's no real value in it for them.

Women, we should benefit from our relationships too. It's not just about the man and we shouldn't just settle for a piece of meaningless recognition. Honey doll, look in the mirror and understand that if you can ride for some narcissistic, self-absorbed dude who needs your presence as a form of validation for their own insecurities; that you surely need that same loyalty to uplift yourself. Don't put so much stock in someone else, that you have none left for yourself. Ride or die for yourself boo, you're definitely worth it! ​

#scandal #relationships #culture #infidelities #failures #incarceration #women #narcissistic #insecurities #africanamericanauthor #socialmedia #validation #TrekaLHouse

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